When did this become normal?

Yesterday I was writing a blog for NcV and it really made me think. I was talking about a walk I took home from work the other day, so I will tell you a similiar story from the night before. In Cochabamba there was a large meeting of Presidents and Prime Ministers from 17 different Latin American and Caribbean countries, therefore there was heavy security all around the Recoleta (uptown Cochabamba). It was around seven on Thursday evening and I was walking to the laundrette which is around the corner from the hotel that everyone was staying. Right outside there was a row of 4 pick-ups each with around 10 policemen all with guns, teargas launchers, the full riot gear. I collected my laundry in a big bag which I slung over my shoulder and waded through all the military and police to get home. There must have been around 200 of them, and funnily enough no-one ever asked to check my bag... I could have had anything in there!

The next afternoon I had to walk through a barricade of riot police to get home and it started me thinking. When did this become normal? I thought of myself 10 years ago walking around seeing everyone with weapons and how much that would have freaked me out. I think it all started in Guatemala when every security guard had a weapon, be it outside a bank or out side the local Burger King. Here, with there being so many protests etc there are so many more people with guns. I cant remember how many times I have been around when the riot police have shot gas cannisters in the area (interesting fact, burning tyres lessen the effects of tear gas!). It has become normal. I remember when I was back in the UK, sitting in heathrow airport with my dad when 2 policemen with tiny wee guns went running through the area. My dad was all excited, wondering what was going on and I noticed that I had kinda blanked on it. I saw that it happened, it just didnt register that it was abnormal. I guess that since they even have riot police at the football matches here, a few policemen with guns doesnt faze me at all!

These events got me to thinking about other things. What else has become "normal"? It is so easy to be numbed to things you see. If you watch the news you hear about suicide bombers, wars, famines, and all manner of terrible things, but as we see if so often how much of it do we actually take in? Honestly, I find myself saddened, but quickly forgetful, changing the channel to something else. And how about here in Cochabamba? Seeing yet another family begging for money, another unkempt street child begging for some spare change, another baby being found in a dumpster? I hope and pray that these things will NEVER become normal to me. That I would never lose compassion, nor fail to be shocked by the poverty and desperation that I see around me.

Difficult days

The past couple of days have really been such an emotional rollercoaster ride. Our little baby Guillermo* has been in need of heart surgery for the longest time and yesterday he finally got it. I had been managing to keep my cool, staying strong in the days up to and during the operation, but as I was waiting for news I received a phone call that just broke my heart. A friend of mine called to tell me that during a drunken brawl one of the street boys that I have known for quite some time now was stabbed in the heart and passed away. I think that hearing this really made me realize the fragility of life. I was sad for the tragic loss of a life of a young man (he was around16 years), the thought of what could have been in his life, and worried about the outcome of Guillermo’s surgery. I was so grateful for the phone call saying that it was a success, but that the next 24 hours would be critical. He is such an amazing baby, such a fighter. He against all the odds survived the surgery, we were hopeful.

This morning I got yet another phone call from Kimberly, my roommate saying that Guillermo’s was having problems with his lungs, more specifically the artery that connects the lung to the heart. It hasn’t expanded as it should have and isn’t allowing enough blood to get to the lungs. If it doesn’t expand enough they are going to have to operate again. Sadly that Is not the most worrying thing. Kimberly returned to our house to tell me that Guillermo’s kidneys have failed and he is on dialysis. They are watching to see if it works, but if it doesn’t they are going to have to do an emergency transplant. I just don’t know how much more one little body can take….

It is interesting though how the brain copes in times of hardship. I tend to go on auto-pilot, and clean like crazy. I don’t really like to give myself time to really see what is going on, but now that my house is clean I find myself having to come to terms with all that is happening around me and to be perfectly honest, I don’t like it.

NOTE -----We have just been told that the dialysis is helping, although only minimally. There is a chance that the kidneys will function again, but he is by no means out of the woods yet.

Why travel?

I can pin point the beginnings of my lust for travel to one specific moment in time. I was 17 years old in the first term of my last year at school, it was the October break and my family and I were in Tunisia on vacation. I had only ever previously visited Spain, and taken a day trip to Morrocco but my appetite for new cultures had already been whetted. My life plan had involved finishing my last year of school, and heading off to university to do International Studies with French and Spanish and then seeing where life took me after that, but Tunisia had other plans for me. We took a tour of El Djem, a 3rd century amphitheatre, which seated 35,000 spectators in its day. It was an incredible and yet terrifying experience wadering around in the underground chambers. We also visited Matmata, a troglodyte villiage which were made famous by the filming of Star Wars there. One of the most beautiful things I have seen is the sun rising over Chott-el-Jerid, the salt flats. Explosions of unending colour. Definitely worth getting up at 3.30am for the bus trip to see it! It's so interesting even for me to be writing about this, for I had forgotten exactly how incredible the trip was! There was one moment that I was a little fearful for our safety (asides from the fact that my dad was offered 20 camels for me by a very creepy guy!) and that was when we were on the tour bus driving along the Algerian border, not a good idea when you have a massive sign alongside the bus that says "TUNISIAN TOURIST BUS", hardly very inconspicuous! Our bus, with darkened windows was pelleted by stones, bottles and a couple of broken bricks. It was a little nerve-wracking. On our last evening of the tour, after driving for what seemed like forever, we reached the Sahara, mounted our camels and away we went. I have never felt such peace in my life, the only sound was the feet of the camels in the sand and our own hearts beating. The sun was setting and the stars we beginning to shine in the deep blue sky and in the distance I could hear the hauntingly beautiful sound of the call to prayer. At that very moment I had a realisation. I wasn't going to return to school when i got back from this specific trip, and I knew that I needed to see more of the world, and not just as a tourist, but I wanted to LIVE it. And live it I did. I arrived back to Scotland, told my teachers and friends that I was leaving school to travel for a year before going on to unversity. Well... it has been 11 years since i said that, and I still havent gone back to school! But then that is another story for another time...

Hmm....

Well, this is my very first blogging experience. I've been meaning to get around to doing this for quite some while now, but just never done it. I guess it's about time. There is most likely not to be too much rhyme nor reason to what i write. It may be on work, life thoughts, things I have been up to. As the title says, Random Ramblings. Hope you enjoy :o)