Yeah, so I am not very good at writing these. Pretty terrible at keeping up to date actually. So much has happened since the last time I wrote. I have come to the decision that I am going home to Scotland. The last 4 months or so have proven very difficult for me as I have been quite ill. I have hideous spinning seizures, where the world around me starts to spin which makes me feel like I am intensely seasick. Not fun at all. I have been for an MRI (which thank God came up clear) and an EEG which showed my seizures. I have had to stop working due to my condition, as the smallest exersion overheats me and I feel like I am on the verge of having another attack. I am going to visit North Carolina for a couple of weeks and then I will head home to Scotland to get myself completely better, before traveling back with my mum, dad and sister to Bolivia for a 7 week vacation. I will then return to Scotland with them until I figure out what the next step in my life involves, whether it be back to Bolivia or elsewhere.
Right now I have so many emotions swirling around in this head of mine that I feel like I am going to explode. There is excitement at the thought of seeing family and dear friends again, of being in Scotland for the first summer in about 4 years, and the hope of feeling better again. Yet at the same time there is the utter sadness at leaving people behind here. People that I have come to call my family, people who have shaped me and helped me grow over the last 4 and a half years. I dont know what I am going to do without them. I am so thankful for the internet, for video calls so I can feel like I am there wth them. This is the hard part of having people you love in so many places. You are always missing someone, no matter where you are. I am going to miss my little church group more than anything. This group has been such a support system for me and I think for the other members too.
I know that my time here in Bolivia has truly changed me. I am not who I was when I came here, I think for the better. I worry as to how things are going to be when I get back to Scotland, thinking about the support system of like-minded people I have here in Bolivia and wondering as to whether I will have the same in Orkney. One thing I do know is that the next two years of my life are going shape me once again, showing me the course that my life is going to take. A thought that is both exciting and overwhelming.
Well, that is my ramble for the moment. I shall try not to leave it so long before my next one.
Hope that you are all well and that this New Year brings all kinds of awesomeness into your lives.
Barbs
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